Denial

I did the big drop off this morning and I have entered the first phase of deployment. Denial. He's not really gone. He'll be home in a few hours to rescue me from the children so I can get a shower. Yeah.
 A few hours later another guy from his division drops his ring off. Ugh. I don't want it! get it away from me!
 The significance of the ring is whenever he goes underway he leaves me his ring because he's a nuke and does a lot of maintenance so he can't wear it most of the time anyway. I put it on my necklace and wear it until he gets back, but I usually, somewhat intentionally, forget to get it from him. If I don't have it he'll be home. Now there it is, a hanging weight on my neck making me look like a lord of the rings fangirl. One ring to rule them all!
Still I've got it in my head that he'll come back, but even if he does I don't want him to. If he pulls back in it means he'll have to go right back out. We went through this a lot on our last boat and it really made me hate yo yo's. Just made me want to mutter "fuck you" in the toy department and that can't be healthy. Not to mention the dirty looks from other moms.
So here I am eating my gourmet frozen dinner, watching some crappy TV, and writing. Again.
Look in the next couple of weeks for the next phase: Mopey.