We've only just begun and already I'm annoyed. It usually takes a little longer for that to happen.
First the standard email telling us about email procedures. It's the standard stuff, please don't send your guy a dear john email or tell him about his dead grandma or send other bad news. Your email can be flagged and read (I try to include juicy stuff for the possible extra readers. I'm nice like that), no more than 350 words. Wait, what? Since when? That's like a freaking status update on facebook. So I went and copied and pasted my last email, which wasn't more than a page, into works and came up with, dun dun duuun over 1000 words. Awesome. I know, I know. I 'm excessively wordy, but my husband actually wants my email to be long because it reads more like a conversation and it makes him feel more like he's here. He likes the detail. I'm probably going to get blasted for this, but I think I'm going to ignore the 350 word limit. Yeah, we used to get much less than that when we relied solely on the ten 50 word family grams. Anyone remember those? But I don't feel like going backward and I'm pretty sure my husband would be ticked if I suddenly cut what I write. We'll see how this plays out.
Next I get the email for the next FRG meeting and it reads like directions to the effing batcave. I'm sure I'm exaggerating, but I only just got my driver's license a year ago and did not drive before that. It is my firm belief that people like me really shouldn't drive. I'm clumsy on my feet, driving is worrisome. It reads like this "go to blah blah subdivision, make right into blah blah subdivision (a sub sub division? I don't know) go to gate, scroll through blah A call blah to open the gate, go through gate, go to this street, make right." I think I'll end up at Wayne Manor at the end.
Finally I got an email from the ombudsman referring to the test phone message. Guess who didn't get called? Great. I'm going to have another one those patrols where I'm constantly in someone's blind spot. I'm trying to be positive. This isn't our last boat, perhaps this will work the way it's supposed to and I'll get all my messages from here on out once I notify the ombudsman.
On the plus side I have gotten emails, which is awesome. I haven't even had a chance to miss him yet and I've got emails. On our last boat I was lucky to get ten quick emails, last patrol I got an email nearly every day for a couple of weeks which was more than I'd ever gotten before and this time, we already have it. I feel very lucky. I know, the system could go down, they won't email for awhile during some periods. I expect that, but I'm pretty happy with the back and forth communication so far.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Denial
I did the big drop off this morning and I have entered the first phase of deployment. Denial. He's not really gone. He'll be home in a few hours to rescue me from the children so I can get a shower. Yeah.
A few hours later another guy from his division drops his ring off. Ugh. I don't want it! get it away from me!
The significance of the ring is whenever he goes underway he leaves me his ring because he's a nuke and does a lot of maintenance so he can't wear it most of the time anyway. I put it on my necklace and wear it until he gets back, but I usually, somewhat intentionally, forget to get it from him. If I don't have it he'll be home. Now there it is, a hanging weight on my neck making me look like a lord of the rings fangirl. One ring to rule them all!
Still I've got it in my head that he'll come back, but even if he does I don't want him to. If he pulls back in it means he'll have to go right back out. We went through this a lot on our last boat and it really made me hate yo yo's. Just made me want to mutter "fuck you" in the toy department and that can't be healthy. Not to mention the dirty looks from other moms.
So here I am eating my gourmet frozen dinner, watching some crappy TV, and writing. Again.
Look in the next couple of weeks for the next phase: Mopey.
A few hours later another guy from his division drops his ring off. Ugh. I don't want it! get it away from me!
The significance of the ring is whenever he goes underway he leaves me his ring because he's a nuke and does a lot of maintenance so he can't wear it most of the time anyway. I put it on my necklace and wear it until he gets back, but I usually, somewhat intentionally, forget to get it from him. If I don't have it he'll be home. Now there it is, a hanging weight on my neck making me look like a lord of the rings fangirl. One ring to rule them all!
Still I've got it in my head that he'll come back, but even if he does I don't want him to. If he pulls back in it means he'll have to go right back out. We went through this a lot on our last boat and it really made me hate yo yo's. Just made me want to mutter "fuck you" in the toy department and that can't be healthy. Not to mention the dirty looks from other moms.
So here I am eating my gourmet frozen dinner, watching some crappy TV, and writing. Again.
Look in the next couple of weeks for the next phase: Mopey.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Corporate Retreat
I've started calling it Corporate Retreat in the hopes that maybe I'll feel more civilian.
Nope, still hate it. My husband suggested taking out a 'forcible loan' from the bank but I told him that would put him on a 'federal retreat' if he was caught. Talking in bureaucrat language is kind of fun.
At any rate, my husband is now on, uh, his ocean retreat getaway. Yeah. And I'm on a sanity vacation. Woo hoo! Where's the bell tower?
I'm actually considering doing the Secret Pal this patrol. That's where the FRG connects you with another spouse and you send each other gifts and cards every couple of weeks and at the end of patrol you go to a little party for the reveal, though I'm not sure I understand the secret since they give you the other person's address and they, likewise, have yours. Maybe I'm missing something. Anyway, it would get me more involved with other wives and I'd get nice little things every couple of weeks. On the other hand it would give me new and exciting ways to alienate myself from even more people. Yeah, yeah. Maybe I'll make a friend, but let's be real, that isn't likely. I'm just too odd.
Speaking of which my husband and I went out to lunch with one of the other guys in his division and his french wife. It actually went pretty well even though I have three little ones and she's pregnant with her first. I thought we got along nicely. Well, until my husband pulls out this little gem "kids are like dogs. We should keep them in cages" He was half kidding half serious. Ugh, dammit. As if I didn't have enough problems keeping my own stupid mouth from spouting weird things off here comes my husband. I haven't heard from her since even with the promise off all our baby stuff. Ah, well.
Due to my current sanity vacation I suspect my posts are about to become more frequent and incoherent. For that I apologize in advance.
Nope, still hate it. My husband suggested taking out a 'forcible loan' from the bank but I told him that would put him on a 'federal retreat' if he was caught. Talking in bureaucrat language is kind of fun.
At any rate, my husband is now on, uh, his ocean retreat getaway. Yeah. And I'm on a sanity vacation. Woo hoo! Where's the bell tower?
I'm actually considering doing the Secret Pal this patrol. That's where the FRG connects you with another spouse and you send each other gifts and cards every couple of weeks and at the end of patrol you go to a little party for the reveal, though I'm not sure I understand the secret since they give you the other person's address and they, likewise, have yours. Maybe I'm missing something. Anyway, it would get me more involved with other wives and I'd get nice little things every couple of weeks. On the other hand it would give me new and exciting ways to alienate myself from even more people. Yeah, yeah. Maybe I'll make a friend, but let's be real, that isn't likely. I'm just too odd.
Speaking of which my husband and I went out to lunch with one of the other guys in his division and his french wife. It actually went pretty well even though I have three little ones and she's pregnant with her first. I thought we got along nicely. Well, until my husband pulls out this little gem "kids are like dogs. We should keep them in cages" He was half kidding half serious. Ugh, dammit. As if I didn't have enough problems keeping my own stupid mouth from spouting weird things off here comes my husband. I haven't heard from her since even with the promise off all our baby stuff. Ah, well.
Due to my current sanity vacation I suspect my posts are about to become more frequent and incoherent. For that I apologize in advance.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
FRG Fun
I went to an FRG meeting. Yay me! And I think I only inadvertently insulted one wife. That's not too bad.
My social awkwardness really makes going to these a, well, awkward chore. I know they need the support and I want to help out, I honestly do, but the whole climate just highlights all my antisocial habits. For example at the beginning of the meeting we go around and say who we are I was the third to go in front of me was the ombudsman and the captain's wife, who introduced themselves as such. It took a lot to bite my tongue and not say, "I'm Jennifer and I'm nobody" not in a depressed way or anything. More of a there-is-no-title-here sort of way. I just stopped at "Jennifer" just so there could be no misinterpretation and following "how are you feeling" sort of questions. I was actually kind of proud of myself for holding my tongue there. I was not as successful when the captain asked if we'd heard any rumors and I just couldn't stop myself from saying "got any good ones?" Ugh, I'm like a bad Ben Stiller movie. Maybe that's why I can't watch Meet The Parents all the way through.
Finally we get to the end of the meeting and I'm wearing my seven month old in my moby like wrap (it's actually an anaju wrap http://www.3treedesign.com/baby-carriers/. I love it) and a new mom with her three month old asks me about it and I tell her how awesome it is because it distributes the weight evenly across my back so I can carry him like that for a long time, but it takes some learning to learn how to wrap and it takes a few minutes to do it. Then I asked her how old her son was and commented on how tiny he is. Keep in mind my seven month old is a most of 25 pound monster. And she says "he's not tiny, he's big" So I backpedal and say "Oh, I'm just saying that because I carry this around all day" then she says "Oh, he's not big" and then she just walks away. Instinctively I went to follow before I stopped myself and realized she was probably trying to get away from me. Ah, to be a sensitive new mom. I remember those days, so I'm not too insulted.
After that I went to collect my girls, but they wanted to play with the other kids some more, so I let them and attempted to help with the single sailor bags. That's where we get an elementary school class to decorate some lunch sacks and we fill them with candy we brought. So I'm distributing candy and I see one that says "Thank you for all that you do. Pleez com bak in one pece" which I thought was really funny so I point it out to another wife who sort of ignored me or didn't hear me, could go either way. Then someone else pointed it out and everyone thought it was funny. Maybe I need to speak clearer, I don't know. In any case I'm definitely going now.
At least my girls had fun. I'll probably keep going to these as long as there is a babysitter just because they enjoy it so much.
My social awkwardness really makes going to these a, well, awkward chore. I know they need the support and I want to help out, I honestly do, but the whole climate just highlights all my antisocial habits. For example at the beginning of the meeting we go around and say who we are I was the third to go in front of me was the ombudsman and the captain's wife, who introduced themselves as such. It took a lot to bite my tongue and not say, "I'm Jennifer and I'm nobody" not in a depressed way or anything. More of a there-is-no-title-here sort of way. I just stopped at "Jennifer" just so there could be no misinterpretation and following "how are you feeling" sort of questions. I was actually kind of proud of myself for holding my tongue there. I was not as successful when the captain asked if we'd heard any rumors and I just couldn't stop myself from saying "got any good ones?" Ugh, I'm like a bad Ben Stiller movie. Maybe that's why I can't watch Meet The Parents all the way through.
Finally we get to the end of the meeting and I'm wearing my seven month old in my moby like wrap (it's actually an anaju wrap http://www.3treedesign.com/baby-carriers/. I love it) and a new mom with her three month old asks me about it and I tell her how awesome it is because it distributes the weight evenly across my back so I can carry him like that for a long time, but it takes some learning to learn how to wrap and it takes a few minutes to do it. Then I asked her how old her son was and commented on how tiny he is. Keep in mind my seven month old is a most of 25 pound monster. And she says "he's not tiny, he's big" So I backpedal and say "Oh, I'm just saying that because I carry this around all day" then she says "Oh, he's not big" and then she just walks away. Instinctively I went to follow before I stopped myself and realized she was probably trying to get away from me. Ah, to be a sensitive new mom. I remember those days, so I'm not too insulted.
After that I went to collect my girls, but they wanted to play with the other kids some more, so I let them and attempted to help with the single sailor bags. That's where we get an elementary school class to decorate some lunch sacks and we fill them with candy we brought. So I'm distributing candy and I see one that says "Thank you for all that you do. Pleez com bak in one pece" which I thought was really funny so I point it out to another wife who sort of ignored me or didn't hear me, could go either way. Then someone else pointed it out and everyone thought it was funny. Maybe I need to speak clearer, I don't know. In any case I'm definitely going now.
At least my girls had fun. I'll probably keep going to these as long as there is a babysitter just because they enjoy it so much.
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