Seriously, it does. It's like an extension of murphy's law for us military folk. Last patrol, at the height of a summer heat wave, our ac went out. We just bought our house and have lived in military housing for the previous ten years. We've never had to deal with home ownership issues. First thing I do is call up some ac repair places. Obviously, right? Wrong. While trying to track down some info on my ac I contacted our real estate agent who informed me our home warranty covers that. Oh, right. That little snafu would have cost us $1500 if my real estate agent would have left me to my own devices.
Here we are. Patrol two in our brand new area. Husband has only been gone a couple of weeks. Already I have been to the doctor four times and I'm about to go again hauling all three kids in tow because I'm a glutton for punishment. They are seriously going to start thinking I like it there.
Even that isn't that bad, but now I get to deal with a whole new aspect of home ownership. Pest control. Holy hell, I hate bugs. I hate southeast bugs the most. For a couple of weeks before my husband went out I had been catching these little harmless looking bugs on my kitchen sink. Thinking they're just some odd harmless thing that's attracted to some damage on our counters my husband promises to fix the counters when he gets back. Cut to a few nights ago. They got bigger. I can tell what they're supposed to be now. Roaches. Mother. Effing. Roaches. German roaches to be accurate. They're still small, but I can see it. I found these at midnight as I was going to bed and flipped out on my kitchen inspecting all my food looking for what they're after and where they're coming from. Luckily they aren't anywhere near my food yet, just my sink still. I have a crack in the caulking between the backsplash and the counter and they are hiding out there. So i bleach it, poison it, and duct tape it up. Some nice diy pest control there. And now I have pest control coming out today to spary it now and every month for the next year at least. This should take care of all my bug problems in my house including the spiders, occasional ants, and whatever those gnat things are that occasionaly invade only my bathroom for some reason. And, what the hell, I'll get the yard taken care of, too. I have this beautiful yard that I'm too terrified to use. Thank you tarantula sized spider on my porch that dug a hole in the ground to get away from my valkeryie war cry as I went at it with a rake. I'm sure the neighbors were entertained and confused. They'll take care of the fire ants and my widdows, too. Did you know there's more than one kind of widdow? I didn't before I moved here. Now I have all three species all over my effing yard. "Mommy, can we go outside to play?" "Umm, why don't you clean up your toys instead?" I'm also known to redirect with schoolwork. "Outside? How about we do flash cards?" and of course every mom's best friend, tv. "Hey look! A movie!" I know, I know. I'm a terrible mom.
All in all I'm paying $300 to set up murdering those bastard bugs plus $30 every month to get them to spray the house. I already checked. My warranty doesn't cover pests. Damm.
And now my gutters are all full of leaves thanks to the recent winds that came through and my husband has specifically forbid me from taking care of it myself which probably gets some of your feminist panties in a knot, but keep in mind he only did that because he's terribly and rightfully worried about my safety. I'm something of a klutz. Okay, a lot of a klutz. Some part of my brain analyzes risky siutation and decides "fuck it, do it anyway. You'll be aight. It'll only hurt a little you pussy" I know my self talk is really positive stuff like the kind of poetry you find in sweet greeting cards to your crusty sailor mother. The point is, and those who know me best agree wholeheartedly, I really shouldn't be doing that. However those leaves need to come out before rain season starts and I have a whole new home ownership problem to deal with on my own which creates something of a conundrum. I suppose they'll be okay for a few months.
Blah, effing patrol. It's only been a couple of weeks and it already feels like forever. It's pretty depressing to write my emails and look at the number 17 and know there will be a number 90 and so on. But that's a depressing blog for another time. Right now I have to go do some self punishment at the doctor's.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hello! I just started reading your blog, and have enjoyed what I've read so far. I like that you're blunt, and I was able to LOL a few times. You say you're in the southeast now? (I am too). I just wanted to give you a bit of advice with the pest control, especially the roaches. Those guys that come out monthly are OK, but for the most part, their solutions will not kill those damn things. It pretty much just keeps the population from getting "out of hand", by causing sterility (though obviously not to all of them). My husband and I found a terrific product at a DIY pest control store. Can't remember what it's called, but it comes in a large syringe and is like a paste. You squirt small balls of this paste in high-traffic (roach traffic) areas. They eat it, bring it back to the nest, and DIE. All of them DIE. Within two weeks all those nasty things were GONE. As far as spiders go.. I am also terrified of them. But knowledge is power here. Widows only hang out in dark, undisturbed areas. Like attics, crawl spaces, or other storage areas. So move furniture once in a while during vacuuming, move things around in the garage, etc. and you will keep them away. There's another fairly frightening looking spider that is very common and I'm sure you'll find this guy in your home. They can get pretty large too, but are NOT poisonous.. though they look it. It's called a Rabid Wolf Spider (wonderful name huh?). It's tan and has two stripes down it's back. They will not hurt you, and are actually great at hunting roaches. Even so, if I spot one, it goes back outside. I hope you have more pest-free days ahead of you, and enjoy the rest of your week!
Oh geez. The bugs all those bugs! I'm not an a bugaphobic or anything. I'm the one my friends call on to kill their spiders, but I will not tolerate roaches. I'm going to try the pest control people first and if I don't like it I'll try that caulk stuff.
I know the rabid wolf spider. I've found a bunch of those in my house. They're big, but they don't bother me too much because I know they're killing other bugs, but if I see it I do kill it just on general principal. The widdows started out with a black widdow in my back yard in a storage box originally used to house a cat box. It's attatched to the house via pet door. I showed my girls and we'd visit the thing and I left it alone. Then the population of all of them exploded. Mostly brown widdows. Every day I'd find new brown widdow nests on my daughter's toys and I had to watch my hands carefully to make sure I didn't accidently grab one when I'd got to flip their table over. It was pretty bad. I thought they didn't like being disturbed but they sure made lots of nests in my most disturbed places. The pest people seem to have taken care of that, thank goodness, and at no charge to me. Thank you helpless woman discount. They're supposed to charge extra for widdows. Which reminds me I need to write another blog to update on how that went. Thanks for reading! I started writing this because my friends said "hey, you should start a blog!" but what I think they meant was "hey, I don't want to read all your posts on facebook!" So here I am.
Post a Comment