At this point in patrol I'm beginning to wonder if I skipped stage: mopey and went straight to stage: manic. Everything is frustrating. There were a couple of days that I was mopey, but then I went straight to this. Four to five hours of sleep a night isn't enough and I think that makes me a bit snappy. I'm constantly having to remind myself that my three year old is only three and she's not trying to piss me off. I must remember that. This gets a bit difficult when she's crying at me for the umpteenth time in a day for not getting her way or choosing not to listen to me or dragging butt on buckling herself in, etc. She's only three and I'm not getting enough sleep. Chant this until I don't feel like screaming
I told my six year old how proud I am of her for being such an awesome big sister and helping out and always trying her best. She tells me she has to always try her best because if she doesn't I'll write a bad email to daddy. Sure, and I thought I was just doing a great job with her but nooo daddy gets all the credit.
And then there's the baby always staggering his naps with his sister's so that I can't get one, too. And he's such a momma's boy always needing to be next to me and clinging to my leg and crying if I'm too near him and not picking him up.
This is not a good recipe for mommy's sanity which made our recent trip to the beach interesting.
My best friend sent me her son's flat stanley and I thought it'd be a good idea to take him to the beach and get pictures. Three kids at the beach by myself. I really should have thought that one out. However I did get some great pictures and the girls had a pretty good time. The bad is that my three year old was less cooperative than her usual not at all cooperative self and my six year old was having such a good time she forgot to listen to me. At least the baby wasn't too bad. Oh, and I lost my glasses. I must have dropped them at the beach and I was halfway out of the park before I realized I didn't have them (I was wearing my sunglasses). I headed back and looked everywhere. No dice. Glasses gone. I was not in a good mood. There goes $200 more. Maybe I should get contacts. This patrol is starting to get costly.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Helpless Woman Discount
The exterminator went as expected given that I've never used an exterminator before. They sent over Roy and the name, of course, sends visions of big burly rapists to this paranoid part time single mom. But so would the name Tom or, god forbid, John. It turns out to be an older mormon gentleman. We draw up the contract and work out a once a month deal. While I'm signing papers he notices that I'm right handed and mentions how that's a good thing. I'm naturally confused so I ask why's that? And he says something about how left handed women are cukoo. On his way out I said something about mormons having lots of kids. He told me had 9.
The next day he calls me up. It turns out he wasn't really a salesman, but a manager and his price for my yard was waaaaay off. Taking care of the fire ants in my yard wasn't going to be $350 it was going to be $1600. Nevermind. I don't like it that much outside anyway. He said he was really sorry and he told me how to get rid of them and what stuff to buy.
Lucky for me I have helpless woman discount working in my favor. The exterminator came by the next day and while treating the outside of the house he took care of my widdows at no extra charge (those are supposed to be extra) and instead of laying down the 5lbs of granules for the ants he was supposed to (and that's what he wrote on his sheet) he actually laid down 20lbs treating 15ft past our swing set. Thank you thank you thank you thank you!
While I'm very grateful for the helpless woman discount, also boo to being a helpless woman. He came back from outside and said "Wow, lady. You have got some spiders!" "Yeah, I know! Did you see the giant one about THIS big" "Are you sure it wasn't this big?" Ugh, yes I'm sure. Do you want the picture?
Oh, and I had to take our van in to get serviced. Three kids to the dealership. Whee! While I was there I asked about getting another pair of headphones for the dvd systems. Lifesaver, by the way. They keep so quiet while watching a movie back there. Anyway, headphones are $120 dollars he finds out. Then he sort of whispers "hey go to this place. They can get it for you for cheaper." and writes down a local place's name and phone number for me. Yay, helpless woman discount.
The next day he calls me up. It turns out he wasn't really a salesman, but a manager and his price for my yard was waaaaay off. Taking care of the fire ants in my yard wasn't going to be $350 it was going to be $1600. Nevermind. I don't like it that much outside anyway. He said he was really sorry and he told me how to get rid of them and what stuff to buy.
Lucky for me I have helpless woman discount working in my favor. The exterminator came by the next day and while treating the outside of the house he took care of my widdows at no extra charge (those are supposed to be extra) and instead of laying down the 5lbs of granules for the ants he was supposed to (and that's what he wrote on his sheet) he actually laid down 20lbs treating 15ft past our swing set. Thank you thank you thank you thank you!
While I'm very grateful for the helpless woman discount, also boo to being a helpless woman. He came back from outside and said "Wow, lady. You have got some spiders!" "Yeah, I know! Did you see the giant one about THIS big" "Are you sure it wasn't this big?" Ugh, yes I'm sure. Do you want the picture?
Oh, and I had to take our van in to get serviced. Three kids to the dealership. Whee! While I was there I asked about getting another pair of headphones for the dvd systems. Lifesaver, by the way. They keep so quiet while watching a movie back there. Anyway, headphones are $120 dollars he finds out. Then he sort of whispers "hey go to this place. They can get it for you for cheaper." and writes down a local place's name and phone number for me. Yay, helpless woman discount.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Shit Always Goes Wrong During Deployment
Seriously, it does. It's like an extension of murphy's law for us military folk. Last patrol, at the height of a summer heat wave, our ac went out. We just bought our house and have lived in military housing for the previous ten years. We've never had to deal with home ownership issues. First thing I do is call up some ac repair places. Obviously, right? Wrong. While trying to track down some info on my ac I contacted our real estate agent who informed me our home warranty covers that. Oh, right. That little snafu would have cost us $1500 if my real estate agent would have left me to my own devices.
Here we are. Patrol two in our brand new area. Husband has only been gone a couple of weeks. Already I have been to the doctor four times and I'm about to go again hauling all three kids in tow because I'm a glutton for punishment. They are seriously going to start thinking I like it there.
Even that isn't that bad, but now I get to deal with a whole new aspect of home ownership. Pest control. Holy hell, I hate bugs. I hate southeast bugs the most. For a couple of weeks before my husband went out I had been catching these little harmless looking bugs on my kitchen sink. Thinking they're just some odd harmless thing that's attracted to some damage on our counters my husband promises to fix the counters when he gets back. Cut to a few nights ago. They got bigger. I can tell what they're supposed to be now. Roaches. Mother. Effing. Roaches. German roaches to be accurate. They're still small, but I can see it. I found these at midnight as I was going to bed and flipped out on my kitchen inspecting all my food looking for what they're after and where they're coming from. Luckily they aren't anywhere near my food yet, just my sink still. I have a crack in the caulking between the backsplash and the counter and they are hiding out there. So i bleach it, poison it, and duct tape it up. Some nice diy pest control there. And now I have pest control coming out today to spary it now and every month for the next year at least. This should take care of all my bug problems in my house including the spiders, occasional ants, and whatever those gnat things are that occasionaly invade only my bathroom for some reason. And, what the hell, I'll get the yard taken care of, too. I have this beautiful yard that I'm too terrified to use. Thank you tarantula sized spider on my porch that dug a hole in the ground to get away from my valkeryie war cry as I went at it with a rake. I'm sure the neighbors were entertained and confused. They'll take care of the fire ants and my widdows, too. Did you know there's more than one kind of widdow? I didn't before I moved here. Now I have all three species all over my effing yard. "Mommy, can we go outside to play?" "Umm, why don't you clean up your toys instead?" I'm also known to redirect with schoolwork. "Outside? How about we do flash cards?" and of course every mom's best friend, tv. "Hey look! A movie!" I know, I know. I'm a terrible mom.
All in all I'm paying $300 to set up murdering those bastard bugs plus $30 every month to get them to spray the house. I already checked. My warranty doesn't cover pests. Damm.
And now my gutters are all full of leaves thanks to the recent winds that came through and my husband has specifically forbid me from taking care of it myself which probably gets some of your feminist panties in a knot, but keep in mind he only did that because he's terribly and rightfully worried about my safety. I'm something of a klutz. Okay, a lot of a klutz. Some part of my brain analyzes risky siutation and decides "fuck it, do it anyway. You'll be aight. It'll only hurt a little you pussy" I know my self talk is really positive stuff like the kind of poetry you find in sweet greeting cards to your crusty sailor mother. The point is, and those who know me best agree wholeheartedly, I really shouldn't be doing that. However those leaves need to come out before rain season starts and I have a whole new home ownership problem to deal with on my own which creates something of a conundrum. I suppose they'll be okay for a few months.
Blah, effing patrol. It's only been a couple of weeks and it already feels like forever. It's pretty depressing to write my emails and look at the number 17 and know there will be a number 90 and so on. But that's a depressing blog for another time. Right now I have to go do some self punishment at the doctor's.
Here we are. Patrol two in our brand new area. Husband has only been gone a couple of weeks. Already I have been to the doctor four times and I'm about to go again hauling all three kids in tow because I'm a glutton for punishment. They are seriously going to start thinking I like it there.
Even that isn't that bad, but now I get to deal with a whole new aspect of home ownership. Pest control. Holy hell, I hate bugs. I hate southeast bugs the most. For a couple of weeks before my husband went out I had been catching these little harmless looking bugs on my kitchen sink. Thinking they're just some odd harmless thing that's attracted to some damage on our counters my husband promises to fix the counters when he gets back. Cut to a few nights ago. They got bigger. I can tell what they're supposed to be now. Roaches. Mother. Effing. Roaches. German roaches to be accurate. They're still small, but I can see it. I found these at midnight as I was going to bed and flipped out on my kitchen inspecting all my food looking for what they're after and where they're coming from. Luckily they aren't anywhere near my food yet, just my sink still. I have a crack in the caulking between the backsplash and the counter and they are hiding out there. So i bleach it, poison it, and duct tape it up. Some nice diy pest control there. And now I have pest control coming out today to spary it now and every month for the next year at least. This should take care of all my bug problems in my house including the spiders, occasional ants, and whatever those gnat things are that occasionaly invade only my bathroom for some reason. And, what the hell, I'll get the yard taken care of, too. I have this beautiful yard that I'm too terrified to use. Thank you tarantula sized spider on my porch that dug a hole in the ground to get away from my valkeryie war cry as I went at it with a rake. I'm sure the neighbors were entertained and confused. They'll take care of the fire ants and my widdows, too. Did you know there's more than one kind of widdow? I didn't before I moved here. Now I have all three species all over my effing yard. "Mommy, can we go outside to play?" "Umm, why don't you clean up your toys instead?" I'm also known to redirect with schoolwork. "Outside? How about we do flash cards?" and of course every mom's best friend, tv. "Hey look! A movie!" I know, I know. I'm a terrible mom.
All in all I'm paying $300 to set up murdering those bastard bugs plus $30 every month to get them to spray the house. I already checked. My warranty doesn't cover pests. Damm.
And now my gutters are all full of leaves thanks to the recent winds that came through and my husband has specifically forbid me from taking care of it myself which probably gets some of your feminist panties in a knot, but keep in mind he only did that because he's terribly and rightfully worried about my safety. I'm something of a klutz. Okay, a lot of a klutz. Some part of my brain analyzes risky siutation and decides "fuck it, do it anyway. You'll be aight. It'll only hurt a little you pussy" I know my self talk is really positive stuff like the kind of poetry you find in sweet greeting cards to your crusty sailor mother. The point is, and those who know me best agree wholeheartedly, I really shouldn't be doing that. However those leaves need to come out before rain season starts and I have a whole new home ownership problem to deal with on my own which creates something of a conundrum. I suppose they'll be okay for a few months.
Blah, effing patrol. It's only been a couple of weeks and it already feels like forever. It's pretty depressing to write my emails and look at the number 17 and know there will be a number 90 and so on. But that's a depressing blog for another time. Right now I have to go do some self punishment at the doctor's.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Update
Just wanted to make a quick little update. The phone tree is fine. My worries were unfounded. As soon as I brought it up to the ombudsman she cleared it up, got the correct number in the tree (they had my husband's number), and I received my first phone tree message without incident and apologies. I am much relieved. I must remember, this isn't our last boat and things are going much smoother than they did before.
I'm Commited Now
I don't know why but this patrol I'm going to attend the FRG meetings. It is pretty odd to sit there and have awkward conversation with the ladies, but maybe if I stick with it it won't be so weird. For the most part they're friendly, but it's me that's wary. I'm constantly screening what I say in my head for offensive content and still something offensive will occasionally slip out, so I want to reiterate, it isn't their fault I'm awkward. That's me. I don't know how to start a conversation without saying something sarcastic or using my caustic sense of humor which will get me into trouble if I let it out.
On that note I did attend another FRG meeting. I didn't end up at the Wayne Manor, like I expected, but my six year old daughter did declare upon exiting our van that their house was waaay nicer than ours. Thanks sweetie.
Getting through the gate was an adventure and, apparently, I wasn't the only one. At first I overshot the little box I was supposed to scroll through, so I flipped around to get behind a couple of other cars. The car that was right behind me was headed to the same place and she could not get the thing to work, so the car behind her let her in and therefore, me. So I slipped in and there were lots of stories going around about how they got through the gate. The house was really nice. I found it after Tom Tom tried to take me to someone else's house on another street entirely. Stupid Tom Tom is out to get me.
My girls had lots of fun playing with the other kids. There was a room for the littler kids which is where my three year went and my six year old went with the older kids. That was nice. I just sort of hung out for awhile and tried not to be too obtrusive and wondered if they thought I was being rude by not jumping into a conversation when I was really worried it'd be rude if I did jump in. Or rather I was worried I'd say something offensive if I did or wouldn't be heard at all which is almost worse. A few of the ladies wanted to play with and make faces at my baby. He's so cute, but he would not be my performing monkey. "I'll bet he has a really nice smile" one would say. Yes, he does, but he'd rather stare at you. Sorry.
After awhile a couple of wives I know showed up and it made everything so much better. Finally I had people I could talk to.
Then it was card making time. One of the chief's son's was injured and they were having the kids make get well cards, but my girls didn't understand this concept. So while the card says "get well soon" it was made for daddy and plastered with pictures of them with daddy and "i love you" "I miss you". My six year old said she didn't know Marcus, so she didn't want to make him a card. Fair enough I suppose. I did try to explain that they would be making get well cards for someone who wasn't well before we got there. No matter.
Then the meeting started and it became obvious pretty quickly that there were the wives with kids and without. The withouts wanted to have nice get togethers where we dress up or go line dancing at a country bar. The withs were mostly opposed to this. Like me a lot of the withs don't have sitters and want babysitting at the events and meetings. I just sat back and waited to see how this would play out. Okay, maybe I made a smartass remark or two about how nice my dress would look with my baby carrier ensemble or how my pregnant friend could just bull ride the baby out. I don't think the withouts appreciated my remarks.
As I tried to leave the meeting I decided that maybe Tom Tom knew a better way out. Stupid me. Tom Tom took me to three dead end dark streets devoid of housing or anyone nearby who could hear me scream. I swear that thing is trying to get me robbed, raped, or murdered. "You have arrived at the site of your robbery. Please lock all doors and call the authorities when we are through" Stupid Tom Tom.
I did manage to get back out of there and get home, so I would call this last meeting a success.
On that note I did attend another FRG meeting. I didn't end up at the Wayne Manor, like I expected, but my six year old daughter did declare upon exiting our van that their house was waaay nicer than ours. Thanks sweetie.
Getting through the gate was an adventure and, apparently, I wasn't the only one. At first I overshot the little box I was supposed to scroll through, so I flipped around to get behind a couple of other cars. The car that was right behind me was headed to the same place and she could not get the thing to work, so the car behind her let her in and therefore, me. So I slipped in and there were lots of stories going around about how they got through the gate. The house was really nice. I found it after Tom Tom tried to take me to someone else's house on another street entirely. Stupid Tom Tom is out to get me.
My girls had lots of fun playing with the other kids. There was a room for the littler kids which is where my three year went and my six year old went with the older kids. That was nice. I just sort of hung out for awhile and tried not to be too obtrusive and wondered if they thought I was being rude by not jumping into a conversation when I was really worried it'd be rude if I did jump in. Or rather I was worried I'd say something offensive if I did or wouldn't be heard at all which is almost worse. A few of the ladies wanted to play with and make faces at my baby. He's so cute, but he would not be my performing monkey. "I'll bet he has a really nice smile" one would say. Yes, he does, but he'd rather stare at you. Sorry.
After awhile a couple of wives I know showed up and it made everything so much better. Finally I had people I could talk to.
Then it was card making time. One of the chief's son's was injured and they were having the kids make get well cards, but my girls didn't understand this concept. So while the card says "get well soon" it was made for daddy and plastered with pictures of them with daddy and "i love you" "I miss you". My six year old said she didn't know Marcus, so she didn't want to make him a card. Fair enough I suppose. I did try to explain that they would be making get well cards for someone who wasn't well before we got there. No matter.
Then the meeting started and it became obvious pretty quickly that there were the wives with kids and without. The withouts wanted to have nice get togethers where we dress up or go line dancing at a country bar. The withs were mostly opposed to this. Like me a lot of the withs don't have sitters and want babysitting at the events and meetings. I just sat back and waited to see how this would play out. Okay, maybe I made a smartass remark or two about how nice my dress would look with my baby carrier ensemble or how my pregnant friend could just bull ride the baby out. I don't think the withouts appreciated my remarks.
As I tried to leave the meeting I decided that maybe Tom Tom knew a better way out. Stupid me. Tom Tom took me to three dead end dark streets devoid of housing or anyone nearby who could hear me scream. I swear that thing is trying to get me robbed, raped, or murdered. "You have arrived at the site of your robbery. Please lock all doors and call the authorities when we are through" Stupid Tom Tom.
I did manage to get back out of there and get home, so I would call this last meeting a success.
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